He Makes All Things New

Hm.



2010.


it feels weird to write that, hehe.




God.... has absolutely blown me away this past year.

The year of 2009.


And - I have great expectation that He's not through with me yet.

In a nutshell, I will try to compose my rendition of what I have learned in 2009:


1. Redemption - takes every picture of my life where I feel condemned or ashamed - He reaches down with His mighty hand, touches the "me" I see and changes me into the person He sees from beginning to end - and makes me radiant in His purity and righteousness.

2. Vision - God has given me vision for what my life is supposed to look like! I don't have to answer with, "well, I know I'm called to full time ministry but I don't know how its going to look," anymore when people ask. I can respond with, "I'm a prayer missionary. I minister first to the Lord, and then to His people."
And it can look like so many different things... but I think thats where the adventure comes in.

3. Garden - my heart. Not a little country garden gated in by a lil picket fence on the side of a dirt road with a bunch of other gardens waiting to be explored, with much more beauty and exotic flowers to allure - no. I am a locked garden - surrounded by massive iron gates, with a Man that jealously guards my heart and my mind with His peace.

4. Treasure - whoa. I'm still wrapping my mind around this one. I'm thinking II Corinthians 4, and Matthew 13 and Proverbs 31. Treasure in jars of clay, treasure hidden in a field, pearl of great price, and an excellent wife who's worth is far above rubies or jewels.

5. Love - without expectation. Without expectation of reciprocation AND ... HERES the recent kicker: without expectation of NO reciprocation. THIS idea has been growing me up quite a bit, in my walk with the Lord.


ps: number 5? Super risky. Big big big big trust thing with the Lord.


6. Stirring - up old dreams, old desires, new dreams, new desires and.... having to come to a place of acknowledging them and being honest with the fact that they ARE in fact - MY dreams and desires. Not sure what God has in store for this developing thing, but I'm thinking He will be faithful and continue His good work on through this next year. :) I'll let you know how it works out.

7. Songs - Love Songs, New Songs, Old Songs, Hymns and Spiritual Songs.
"I save my sweetest love songs for Jesus."
Its just... true. Singing songs that have never left my lips until the moment they do, singing old songs that touch my heart in a way I can't explain - they were sung to me as lullabies. Singing hymns that are written in such a way and sung with such conviction that my heart nearly explodes with appreciation for the legacy I get to embrace and run with the baton for my part of the race. And - Songs that sound like angels.



I guess an overall word? Restoration.


I don't know. But I'm glad I don't. Its time to see whats next with the Lord. He always keeps me on my toes.

I like that.




:)


Did I mention?





I'm in love.

Love with no Expectations

Love with no expectations of it being reciprocated.

This idea has been presented to me over this last year and as painful as I know it must be, I remember telling God I wanted that kind of Love.
Interesting, He always seems to answer those kinds of prayers.

I think its loving people with no condition. There is actually no option to NOT love them. We are called to love one another - it is exactly what sets us apart. It is part of the great commandment Jesus gives us to love God and then to love each other, as WELL as later saying that we will be known as disciples because of our love for one another.

But what does that look like?

Do we really know our true tendency towards the opposite of love?

Do we really get how selfish and self centered we really are?

Submission.

What does THAT look like?

What does Love look like?

huh.


How about speaking the truth in love?

Or having love that is genuine and sincere?

Or what about actually SAYING "I love you" to people we really do?
Or saying "I love you" to people we really don't?


I would venture to say we should be offending ourselves with the flippancy we throw around the very nature of God.

hah! Romans 12 says, "Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor."

What DOES that look like, really?




hm. I don't know. All I know is that the Lord is calling me to love - WITHOUT expectation. Honoring my brothers and my sisters in the Lord. Being full of integrity towards them and guarding their hearts before Christ.

Sigh.


It really sucks though, when people don't get how important that stuff is... because then Love isn't as sacred or beautiful to them as it is to me, then is it?

Hah!

I think we just need to get to know God more.

That would solve everything, really. :)

Yes it would.

It should be a costly thing - a woman's heart....

Though some of the perspective of this poem is not necessarely applicable, still, the real essense behind it is the confidence of a truly beautiful woman who requires a man who pursues her to be a man of God - and also, one who sees the value of her heart.

"An excellent (or virtuous) wife, who can find? Her worth is far above jewels." -Proverbs 31:10

As I am determined to be such a woman, I do agree with the heart of the poem, as well as enjoy how it is read.

Be blessed,

Sarah

A WOMAN'S QUESTION
Do you know you have asked for the costliest thing
Ever made by the hand above?
A woman's heart, and a woman's life--
And a woman's wonderful love.

Do you know you have asked for this priceless thing
As a child might ask for a toy?
Demanding what others have died to win
With the reckless dash of a boy.

You have written my lesson of duty out,
Manlike, you have questioned me.
Now stand at the bars of my woman's soul
Until I shall question thee.

You require your mutton shall always be hot,
Your socks and your shirt be whole;
I require your heart be as true as God's stars
And as pure as His heaven your soul.

You require a cook for your mutton and beef,
I require a far greater thing;
A seamstress you're wanting for socks and shirts---
I look for a man and a king.

A king for the beautiful realm called Home,
And a man that his Maker, God,
Shall look upon as he did on the first
And say: "It is very good."

I am fair and young, but the rose may fade
From this soft young cheek one day;
Will you love me then, 'mid the falling leaves
As you did 'mong the blossoms of May?

Is your heart an ocean so strong and true,
I may launch my all on its tide?
A loving woman finds heaven or hell
On the day she is made a bride.

I require all things that are grand and true,
All things that a man should be;
If you give this all, I would stake my life
To be all you demand of me.

If you cannot be this, a laundress and cook
You can hire and little to pay;
But a woman's heart and a woman's life
Are not to be won that way.
Lena Lathrop

She, with unveiled face...

Yes, It has been a while since I've written my thoughts out for the world ... the small of the world that I reach, that is. Be as it may, the Lord is moving in me like I've never experienced before.

I will say I'm GROWING.

I'm frustrated with the amount of flaw I see in myself because I'm trying so hard, and THEN I'm OFFENDED in my little heart when others SAY they see my flaws too.
hah! What can you do? I can't win for losing, it seems. like I said. I'm still growing.

Dreams.

Desires.

Longings of the Heart.

These are things I'm being faced with in my walk with the Lord as of late, and whats funny is that YES! I am being FACED with them.

I am finding myself in a place where the Lord has brought out all of my most precious desires, dreams, longings. The things that are dearest to my soul - he's brought them out from behind lock and key and is holding them out for me to see. But for me, be what it may seem to everyone around me, to look at these things cause a great deal of pain in my life. For a few weeks I stood before the Lord and pointed my little finger in the air and denied them as ever having been my own.

But that doesn't deter the Father. His hand still held them before me.
Of course, there is no way that I would be able to deny Him for long, since He KNOWS me. AND - I know me. This whole denial thing is pointless, really. So we move on in the process. I admit that yes, those ARE indeed my desires. But the acknowledgment of those desires does something for me that I wasn't necessarily expecting: They become real and quite tangible to me. Those aren't JUST the deepest desires of my heart.... THEY ARE the deepest things of my heart - and I want it all desperately.

Which sucks. Because I've been pretty good at being strong about this for quite some time.

So this weekend, it hits its climax with the reality that - um - there's not a single notion of certain things that I desire, at all in front of me. And it was here in this place I found that my most precious sacrifice of love at this time in my life was to lay down all that I've ever longed for - before the Lord in humble submission.

Isn't that what being a follower is all about? Whatever the cost?

I could sit here and write about counting the cost of love to the Lord.
But that would be folly in the light of the price He has paid without batting an eyelash.
Its not about the cost anyway. Its about how great the Love.

I'm ... absolutely in love with the Lord. Hah! - I sit here thinking about what I DON'T have... but the truth is, I have it ALL, when I'm with Him. I'm not lacking a thing. And I'm glad to say that in all of my immaturity and in all the times I don't live up to my claim, Its His grace that allows me to be bold in my confidence and live with an unveiled radiance of freedom and glory.

His grace is the covering over all of my nakedness - all of my ugliest parts, still being worked out of me. Hah, and how Jesus loves us more than Noah's sons loved him and covered him!

I'm beginning to touch the surface of what real love might be. And what real love begins to look like towards others, when I've been loved sufficiently - His grace, being enough to perfect me in Him.

I've been writing a lot lately in my personal journals and a song kind of slipped out from somewhere inside. First time in probably 2 years, actually.
I'd love to share it with you - and also - KNOW that it is subject to be added to in the future. But for now, Here I GO.

Here I Go Again (revised)
by Sarah Faithy (as always) 11-2-09

Here I go again
and I'll direct my prayers by the point of my pen
and I don't even know who you are
But for you, dear One, my heart is set apart

I'm a garden enclosed
safe within the cleft of the rocks
I'm a mystery
I'll captivate you with one glance


This will be something beautiful
Oh the Love of God is powerful (wonderful)
Underneath the shadow in the secret place
that's where you'll find me - I will be waiting.

As I fall for the Lord
I find I'm beginning to love you more
and I don't even know your name
but I don't need convinced that you're worth the wait

My beloved and my friend
you are distinguished among ten thousand
make haste, my betrothed
be like a deer and leap over the mountains, into your garden

:)

Note to self... and anyone else.

If God calls you a locked garden, and when you find yourself upset because no one seems to have tried to come in - then isn't it God, you have a problem with, not man?

hm.

And it doesn't mean no one's tried, but rather, that the Owner has said no?


huh.


I know I should feel pretty offended.

but I think I'm past that.


I can only smile.